Thursday, January 19, 2012

Filch (the Hot Dog Maker) pt 1

Kagi is a small traveler's village nestled just inside Ensou, the Imperial Circle. People oft travel into the great capital for any number of reasons, and Kagi serves to feed and house weary travelers for the night. The Jade Garden Teahouse is a social gathering place for many to trade tales, rumors, and secrets over an ale or a bottle of sake, depending on your level of refinement. The Jade Garden offers fine eatery, excellent service by lovely bakeneko ladies, and a comfortable atmosphere. There is even talk of a brand new kind of cuisine called a hot dog, who's origin and substance are still in debate. That is the secret that only Filch knows.
"Skrub skrub skrub, form and hue. Skrub skrub skrub, doop dee doo." Filch sang to himself merrily. His fingers wiggled and waggled in the dirt, occasionally finding a grubworm or rolipoli and popping it into his mouth. "Skrush skrush pop!" he sang, goopy slimy dribbling from the corner of his mouth. "Ah, a roaches. Krunch krunch goes its headses."

Filch audibly sniffed the air around him. Piles of tiny leaves, wet and pungent, sat in a wood box behind a bustling raised building. Sounds of laughter, music, and singing drifted all around him, but Filch only cared about the sweet and bitter smells from the box pile. The mound of leaves was well enough away from the house itself, and the pile was taller than he was standing, Filch decided this would be a good place to stay for awhile. There was plenty to eat, and the leaves were strangely wet, joyous to his tongue.

There were some empty wood boxes behind the house, so he grabbed two and brought them behind the compost heap of tea leaves. Being of such slight stature he figured that putting the two boxes together, filling them with mud for cushion, would make an excellent little home.

Days had passed, and one night he heard voices just on the other side of his new home. "It's just incredible. What did you do? The bug problem is gone. Filthy, disgusting things, those roaches, and I haven't seen any for days." "Um, thank you Mizuchi-san, but I didn't do anything. Maybe the weather changed and it's getting too cold for them." "Well whatever it is, you keep it up and we won't have to bribe the inspector anymore. I'll have enough left over to give you a raise." Filch peeked around to see a beautiful cat lady speaking with a very haughty looking elvish man with long blonde hair, but he bumped his toe on the edge of the compost box.

"Frick, fruckin, frazzle may!" he blurted, startling the cat girl into a scream. The elven man named Mizuchi looked at first terrified and then about to empty the contents of his stomach.

"Ugh, what a horribly grotesque little pig man. Jana..." but before he could finish, the cat girl, Jana, whacked poor little Filch right on the head with a broom. He could tell they were startled and didn't know what to do. Filch just stared at them, picked his nose hungrily, and wondered why his head was starting to hurt. By the fifth broom swat to the head he decided, quite to his dismay, to abandon his new little home with the wonderful tea leaves, and scurried off into the darkness of the night.

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